Particularly bad outbursts would be followed by a period of promises, charm and gifts, but by the time she realized they were empty manipulations he was threatening to ruin her life if she left him. They had never lived together but he seemed to spend every free minute at her house or following her. Once, toward the end of their second year, she returned home unexpectedly during the middle of the day and found him going through her belongings.

Kimberly points out that although he started using drugs and alcohol, the outbursts and abuse where while he was sober. He always blamed his violence and destructiveness on Kimberly.

At the beginning of the 4th year of their relationship he beat her brutally, blaming the fact that she had bent over earlier at a store and her bra strap had shown briefly. Kimberly was driving on the highway when he started raging and hitting her. She pulled over and he grabbed her by the neck and beat her in the face, dislocating her jaw, and causing multiple bruises and abrasions. He hit her repeatedly in the arms, head and chest while calling her vulgar names.

Kimberly had to be taken to the hospital because she was in shock. In the hospital parking lot he made her put on his long sleeve shirt and buttoned it around the collar to hide some of the wounds. He threatened her if she told the doctors what happened. In the emergency room he stood behind her during the exam. She required 23 x-rays of her jaw, spine and arm. Because of the nature of the injuries the hospital staff took pictures.

As a result of her beating she had to have 4 months of physical therapy. Five years later she still wears a splint to help relieve her damaged jaw. Yet, despite the severity of the injuries, he was not arrested. Kimberly says, "He is so manipulative. He told them it was mutual combat, that he was defending himself, and showed the sheriffs some scrapes on his hands and arms." At first she was afraid to pressure the authorities to prosecute him because he continued to stalk her and threaten her after the incident. When she finally did try to get help with stopping the threats and harassment she was told that they would not prosecute such a case of "mutual combat".

She felt she was being blamed for being a victim. "It definitely would have been better if they would have just prosecuted him for assault without my having to put myself more at risk." It is now five years after the assault. She has tried to distance herself as much as possible but he still harasses her by phone and by following her. She does not know what to do. She fears any effort on her part to get a restraining order will trigger more violence.

She has been attending battered women's groups for support and seeing a counselor. Kimberly says, "I have become distrustful, unable to like most men, I avoid relationships, and have a lot of regrets… but I now know it was not my fault." Although she is very personable she avoids making male friends. "I can't trust them… everybody is sweet in the beginning and then it turns to hell."

We are fortunate to have some of her art for display on the Internet and no doubt her works will be receiving a wider audience. She has also been very brave and compassionate to other victims by allowing use of photographs taken after her boyfriend beat her.

The photographs of Ms. Cook's works are courtesy of Advanced Wedding Photography and Video in San Jose, CA.

Go to the Domestic Violence Project Home Page